Getting Back on Track

It's nearly 3 years since my VSG and 2011 hasn't been such a great year up until three weeks ago. After last Christmas I guess things started going down hill. I could eat a little more and lost that feeling of restriction , although my meal sizes were still quite small. I started gaining weight and with the weight came depression. It was a vicious cycle. I gained 6kg (about 12lbs) in 6 months. The lightest I had been was 89kg (196lb) and then had gone up from there.

I went back to the surgeon and he ordered a barium swallow which showed there was some dilation. He talked about resleeving but the cost is so great I don't want to go there. I felt that the money I spent on the original op was completely wasted. I had a session with the surgeon's psychologist which I felt was a complete waste of time - I did vent a bit, but came away thinking that my responses were completely normal even though my feelings of frustration and despair were very on the surface. Thats pretty healthy IMHO.

I was enraged that I seemed to be eating so little and yet gaining weight!!! So in my anger and frustration I got hold of an app which would track my calories so I could demonstrate what I was eating. It was a motive of "I'll show them!" more than anything else. After trying a couple and finding them wanting I stumbled across myfitnesspal.com with a huge database of foods already analysed. So joined up - after all it was free. I was reading through the FAQs (I'm a good Netizen I always do that on joining a site that I intend to hang out at) and came across an article "I eat 700-800 calories a day why am I still gaining weight?" Well the light went on BIG TIME. I realised that I had a habitual starve/binge pattern that I had been unaware of simply because there weren't 1000's of calories involved in the binging bit. I had not realised that chronic undereating is completely defeating the body's natural metabolic rate. I also thought that my metabolism was broken beyond repair. I was wrong.

I started on the MFP guidelines and ate my necessary calories for the day every day - and gained a little to start with, but have been steadily losing ever since! I am so stoked. Anyway I feel as if I am back on track. The operation gave me a kick start and now it's basically up to me. Wish me luck.