Real Food At Last!

Well, within reason... Gradually moving from pureed foods to more solid stuff. Chewing really comes into play here as I now can feel the limitations of my new stomach. I have to make sure things are well masticated before they get down there. With protein consumption as my main goal, my first 'proper' meal in nearly 2 months was mince (ground beef) on toast. It was like a 5 star gourmet meal to me! The toast was Molenburg bread which is low GI and is full of wholegrains. It was toasted to within an inch of its life - so it was really crumbly - because bread can turn into a gooey paste which is not good in the new tummy. All went well, and even though the portion was pretty small it took a while to eat and I felt satisfied.

The feeling of satisfaction after food is very new. I can't actually recall a time when I did feel that. Maybe I've had this gnawing hunger all my life. As I've mentioned before, I do feel hunger now, but it seems to be appropriate hunger. It stops when I start eating and doesn't pop up again until the next mealtime. How novel! I have to make an effort to get my liquid requirements in for the day, as I just 'forget'.

Another thing I have noticed, nearly 6 weeks post op, is that I feel well. For the past few years I have felt pretty horrible every day. Not only lethargic and exhausted, but at times on waking I have felt like I've been clawing my way back from death. Not a pleasant feelingto start the day with. This has been how diabetes has affected me. I have continued to stay off the meds since the op and my Blood Glucose readings have been very stable and very normal. That doesn't mean I can go out eat tons of sugar (well this is how I see it anyway). In order for the Sleeve to work I need to eat a sensible diet and get regular exercise. I'm very happy to do that! Its a do-able thing for me now. Before, I just could not stick to it, with the gnawing hunger and the seeming bottomless pit that my stomach was.

I see my surgeon and Monday and if all goes well I will be cleared to exercise! Yeehaw! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak where exercise is concerned. We shall see. Body - prepare yourself for th shock of your life!!

4 Weeks On...

Tracking my weight loss to date, for those who, like me, love the facts and figures:

My heaviest weight: 115 kilos (253.5lbs) for about 2 years to around Jun/Jul 08
Pre Optifast diet 111.1 kilos (244.9lbs)
Day of Operation 105.2 kilos (231.9lbs)
4 weeks post op 100 kilos (220.5lbs)

So on my own I struggled to lose 4 kilos (nearly 9lbs) in 6 months, which isn't too bad and deserves a pat on the back. In this time I did go up and down however, losing and gaining the same 2 kilos several times over. But when I hit my surgeons office it gave me renewed hope and helped the process keep to a downwards direction. Then the Optifast diet gave me a huge kickstart in the 2 weeks prior to surgery. The weight loss has slowed down considerably, probably due to my body trying to adjust to the new food regime! I have put the scales away, so I'm not obsessively weighing everyday. I know the weight will come off.

My main focus at this point is to make sure I get all the liquids/water I need on a daily basis and get my protein requirements in. I have progressed onto 'mushy' food, and although that sounds disgusting it tastes like heaven after consuming only liquids for so long. I've gotten into cooking again, which is a novelty! I'm not working at present (damn this recession!), so my domestic skills are coming out of mothballs.

I am really enjoying flavours and my whole relationship with food has done a 180 degree turn. I am not consumed with the hunger I was before the op, although I do feel hunger. Its a different feeling. Pre op my hunger was like this: most of the day, unless I was distracted with work, a low level nagging feeling in my stomach and mouth. The mouth part was a craving for something nice to taste, the stomach bit was an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Then at around 11.30 (pre lunch) and 4.30 (pre dinner) I would get this intense craving coupled with a feeling of faintness, headache, dizziness and nausea. So by the time I ate I would INHALE the food, it never even touched the sides and I never felt full or satisfied. I did test my blood sugars from time to time to see if this was a symptom - but it wasn't. Now, post op, I have a feeling that perhaps I should eat something, bit of an empty feeling in the tummy - check the clock and lo and behold! its actually a mealtime! When I heard of this lack of hunger phenomenon to do with WLS I knew that if I had this one small thing, loss of the over the top appetite, that I could do it.

Small victories so far - have crossed my legs; had my photo taken without cringing; taken off the bra extender; can get out of bed without puffing and struggling; still of my diabetes meds as blood sugar levels are within normal range; skin looks great; and (according to reports) not snoring so much! I completely deny ever snoring in the first place, but I have been told it rattled the windows.

NSV's - what are they?

Non Surgical Victories are those little moments when you experience a gift from losing that weight. For example, yesterday, in the blistering heat of one of Auckland's hottest summers for years, we lay on rugs in the garden under the shade of our golden elm. I fell asleep with the sound of the cicadas. It was lovely. 12 kilos (25 lbs approx) ago I could not lie on the ground. It was excrutiating and getting up again was a real problem. Yes I still am a bit ungainly getting to my feet, but it is so much better than it was. I felt encouraged at the greater mobility and had a bath. Not too bad but I'm looking forward to lying in a bath where the water actually covers me!

Another NSV was being at the Big Gay Out - which I go to every year (part of the Hero Festival in Auckland) and not dodging having my photo taken. I know I'm not skinny yet, but I feel so much more confident of my appearance at present.

I'm working my way back through clothes I haven't been able to wear, some of them have hardly had any use at all. And a lovely fresh water pearl necklace that was just too tight looks great. Its fun and I don't have to spend any money yet!

Liquid liquid everywhere...

Its been 2 and a half weeks since the op and I'm still on the thin liquid diet, and getting pretty sick of it. My surgeon tells me it will be a few months before I'm on proper food again, I had kind of thought it would be a few weeks. I'm doing OK considering. Certainly the pre-op me would have not been able to stay on a liquid diet for very long, I would have been ravenous by this stage and all food withing a 3 km radius would have been in extreme danger of being consumed.

The feelings thing is quite intense too. Can't bury myself in a bag of chips when things go wrong, no stuffing down feelings with a huge plate of pasta. We've had a tragic loss in the family last week and my feelings have been right there - up front and personal. The movie "Happy Feet" had me weeping for most of the first half.

In terms of weight loss, since I started the pre op diet to today - which is a month ago - I have lost 11 kilos. Translated to American, this is 24.25lbs. Or for UK readers this is 1.732 Stone, or to be more precise 1 Stone 10 1/4 lbs. Anyone conversant with old Russian will recognize this as 2,579 Zolotniks and for the student of ancient French - .2247 of a Quintal. In any event its a sh**load of weight to lose in 1 month!

Well heres to it! (Raises glass of choc protein drink - nicknamed sawdust delight)... Cheers!